Thanks for the Memories
by jayrae1996
Summary: Ed finds Sam in the locker room, and Sam shows his true emotions. Takes place after One Wrong Move, supersuper minor spoiler for Acceptable Risk. Non-slash, but could be if you really wanted to look at it that way. SamPOV.


_**Thanks for the Memories**_

**A/N: **Spoilers for _One Wrong Move(S2E10); and Acceptable Risk(S3E07)_  
**DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN _FLASHPOINT _OR ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT; except the 2 box sets I own; ALL RIGHTS GO TO _MARK ELLIS AND STEPHANIE MORGANSTERN _AND THEIR AMAZING MINDS FOR CREATING _FLASHPOINT. _**

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When Ed walked in, I didn't even notice. I was in my own world, zoned out. I don't think I would've heard anything until he spoke to me.

"Sam, what are you still doing here?" Ed asked me, not mad or angry, but sad.

What was I still doing here, sitting on one of the benches in the locker room, in front of my open one.

I was looking at the three pictures I had in my hands. All the memories I will never be able to share with those friends, those family members. Matt, Lew, my little sister. They're all gone, and I'll never be able to make more memories with them.

Matt. Matt, my best friend in the entire world. Gone, and I killed him. If I just looked before I fired, maybe he would still be alive. I know I was told that it wasn't my fault, that he wasn't supposed to be out there where we were shooting. That I shouldn't blame myself because it won't bring him back. Nothing will, I know that because he's dead. You can't bring dead people back to life. The memories we had together, I will never ever forget them. I can't even if I tried to.

Lew. I know I had nothing to do with his death; neither did Spike. No one did but the guy who placed that damn bomb there. I still feel somehow that I was involved in his death. Maybe because it was too much like being in Afghanistan, all the bombs killing my team and friends. He was my friend, and he was killed. Just like Matt. In four years, I lost two amazing friends. We didn't have many memories, but the ones we do have, I'm keeping those ones.

Elizabeth. I will never forget her. Why would I? She was my little sister. I was there when she was killed, and I didn't do anything about it. I just stared at her shoes still in the same place she was standing. They never moved an inch. The car hit her so hard, that she actualy flew of out her shoes. I can't stop thinking that if I was a better brother, I could've prevented this from happening. If I just seen that car, she would still be here. I'll always take the blame of her death, only because what I should've done, and didn't do to save her. We had so many great memories together. I still remember the day she called me Sammy, the best big brother she ever had. I think that's my favorite memory of her. I wish we could've made more memories, but that's not going to happen.

I had a part in killing all of them; Matt, Lew and Elizabeth. Maybe not physically, but mentally, emotionally or maybe even verbally. I'll never get them back, I'll never be there for them. I'll never see them again. But I will remember them. I won't mourn their death, I'll celebrate for the times when they were alive. But most importantly, I will always remember our memories together, all the times we had, the places we went, birthdays, holidays, Spike and Lew pranking me because I was the rookie.

The only thing I wish I could say to them would have to be, thanks for the memories.

I felt something hot run down my face and realized I was crying. In front of my team leader, part of my second family.

I didn't notice him come sit beside me, put his arm around me in a conforting way, and wipe my face of my tears. When I answered him, I came out of the tough guy act, and told the complete truth for once about my feelings.

"Crying."

_The End._

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A\N: I realize that Sam is definitely way out of character, but that's how it's supposed to be. And anyways, I'm a first time writer, and I'm pretty much new to the whole writing/publishing part of this. I'm actually 10 times more interested in reading than writing.

Any mistakes are 100% my own, and I absolutely hate auto-correct. It should go die in a hole. And I have no clue what Sam's sister's name is, or if Matt's name is Matt or Ben. It was mentioned in two episodes, but they used different names, and I liked Matt better.

Tell me what you think by leaving a review right down there at the bottom; or PM me. Which ever floats your boat. (: I should have more stuff on the way, I just dont know when because I'm not near done them yet, and I have no idea when I'll be able to post them, so bear with me here.


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